Duo's Almighty Rules Of Parenting
by Kiken Yuy
Summary: Behold! The sequal to Heero's Rules. Now Duo's the daddy and he's one tough cookie!! Batten down the hatches, it's gonna be a bumby ride!


Well you asked for it! A second dose of Daddy's Rules comming right up!!  
  
It's Duo's turn!! Hope he's not too harsh on the poor thing.......  
  
Disclaimer: YES! I WON THE LOTTERY AND I NOW OWN GUNDAM WING!! Yeh, and the black plague was just a rash XP  
  
Take it if you want, just mail me yap yap you get the idea!  
  
Let the madness continue!!  
  
*~!~ Duo's Almighty Rules of Parenting ~!~*  
  
I know Heero wrote a list like this for his daughter so I thought I'd give it a try too. Read carefully!  
  
Rule One: I am the all-knowing, all-powerful Shinigami! I am the ruler of your universe! You do not opose me!! If you do,....... then I'll be sad.  
  
Rule Two: I realize that Heero is rather strict when it comes to his daughter's wardrobe, however, I am more open minded. You may wear whatever you want whenever you want. I only ask of you this one thing: it can't be pink! I NEVER *EVER* WANT TO SEE A SPECK OF PINK IN THAT CLOSET OF YOURS, MISSY! If I do, I will burn all your clothes and make you wear hand-me- downs from GoodWill!!  
  
Rule Three: I will allow you to have a few friends over for slumber parties once in a while. But I mustn't see any nail-polish on the carpet, no make- up smudges on the mirrors, no leftover popcorn stuffed into the folds of the couch, AND MOST CERTAINLY *NOT* ANY SIGN OF A YOUNG MALE HUMAN WITHIN THE PERIMETOR!!  
  
Rule Four: Frankly, I can't cook worth beans so you'll have to take an extended course of home ec when you're tall enough to reach the highest cabinet. Until then, I hope you like take out!  
  
Rule Five: I fear the day when you get your drivers liscense. But a teen must be able to drive, ne? Well bow down to me for I have taken the liberty of building you your very own Gundam!! Goodbye trafic-jammed highways and hello open skyways!! Just try not to get a ticket, please. I don't have insurance for that baby yet!  
  
Rule Six: This brings me to the point of college. You may choose whatever college you'd like to attend, so long as you work hard, study, and strive for the best! Or you may not even choose to go. You could become a Gundam pilot like your dear old father and uphold the family name!! Then you can tell your own children about those good ol' war days were every mission was a risk on your life, let alone the future of humanity!! WOULDN'T THAT BE FUN?!!! No? Oh.....ok.......-.-;;  
  
Rule Seven: And now it's time for that ever so dreaded dating subject. As long as you find someone that's right for you, that's all that matters. They should be well put-together though. They should also have nice teeth, none of that metal mouth stuff{1}. Oh, and they've got to have at least a 3 foot long braid. And they've got to wear black! And a great smile! And a charming personality!! And-well you get the idea. Like I said, anyone that's right for you, that's all that matters.....  
  
Rule Eight: Now as you grow, you're body changes. Well I don't want to be a part of it so go do your metamorphesis somewhere else! Not that I'm afraid or anything, oh no, not the Great Shinigami.......but truth be told, I'm not a girl and I don't know a lot about them. Why don't you ask Heero?! He's bound to have something on the "transformation of the catipiller" so to speak.........  
  
Rule Nine: Ah yes, the birds and the bees. You're destined to know sooner or later. Fortunatly, I won't have to tell you! Why? Oh it's not because I'm uncomfortable with the topic. ME?!! HA HA HA!! OF COURSE NOT!! But I just figured that a therapist would be more of a help to you then lil ol' uneasy me. You understand,...right?  
  
Rule Ten: If you find these rules unjust, take it up with Heero, he gave me the idea. And if you still think these are unfair, then I hope you'll enjoy catholic school! But be forewarned, the rules are even more strict, and if you don't obey, the nuns will gang up on you and whip your sorry behind until it's numb!! Then they'll send you to a years worth of detention, each one more agonizing then the last. And finally, they'll take you to a special torture chamber were you'll be forced to whatch reruns of educational christian television!!!! I hope you'll be able to come out alive! Oh yeah, don't forget YOU'LL ALWAYS BE DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL!!!  
  
*~!~ Finito~!~*  
  
Whew....all in one sitting!! Welp, I hope you liked this one.......in the meantime*yawn*.........I'm kinda  
  
tired......think I'm gonna go to sleep.....nighty-night *conks out cold in front of her laptop*  
  
{1}No offense to anyone with braces. It's okay, I have them too =%  
  
P.S. REVIEWS FOR THE POOR?!!! 


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